If The Big Short, Margin Call, or 99 Homes didn’t satisfy your cinematic financial crash craving, coming soon will be a depiction of the collapse from the female perspective, courtesy of Reese Witherspoon’s Pacific Standard by way of Warner Brothers–”Opening Belle.”

A junkie for crash stories, I eagerly loaded Maureen Sherry’s novel into my Kindle. Loosely based on Sherry’s experience as a managing director at Bear Stearns, her personal website calls the book “Working Girl meets The Wolf of Wall Street.”  That’s not even half right.

It’s more like “9 to 5” meets “Primates of Park Avenue.” “In a good year, Isabelle earns $3 million,” writes NYT reviewer Alessandra Stanley. “Ms. Sherry said she considered how that would play to readers, but she wanted to be realistic. ‘I hate the term ‘Manhattan poor,’‘ she said, but added that after taxes, as a couple with one income and three private-school tuitions, ‘They weren’t living large.’”

Anyone looking for rowdy boy’s club behavior will be very disappointed.  Actually there’s very little financial drama in Opening Belle.  There’s more action at the kid’s private school. The women at the fictional investment firm, including Isabelle, figure they’re hitting the glass ceiling even though Isabelle is pulling down millions in a good year.

The New York Times calls “Opening Belle” Chick Lit and it is. There’s no tension on the trading floor, just a bit at home.  You see Isabelle’s husband, Bruce, is somewhere between under and unemployed (attention Ms. Witherspoon, for realism make Bruce a blogging libertarian in the movie). Belle, of course, resents her husband for his lack of financial productivity and he resents her for being a big shot Wall Streeter, taking it out on her by spending her money frivolously and not doing any housework.

Oh, and there’s a gorgeous, brilliant man from Belle’s past who becomes her biggest client. Guess what happens? Not much really.  This book (and the movie) could use some serious sexing up.

Here and there the actual events of the financial crash are mentioned. But Ms. Sherry fails to capture the angst of the worst financial crash of this generation. “My eyes well up and we sit there for a moment with something bordering wonder,” Isabelle writes. “I never saw things going this way.” Not exactly gut wrenching.

There is a twist near the end I didn’t see coming, but female readers likely won’t be surprised at all.

Ms. Witherspoon and Bruna Papandrea, as with the makers of The Big Short, see the 2008 crash as Wall Street comedy.  For some of us, that year wasn’t so funny.  Let’s hope they do something rare, make a movie that’s better than the book.